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８月１３日で禁酒が１０ヶ月となりました。
今まで何回も禁酒をしました。
２ヶ月半をすぎると冷たいビールが飲みたくなり、飲んで終わりました。
こんなに長く禁酒が続いたのは初めてです。
今でも暑い日の夕方は冷たいビールが飲みたくなります。
飲酒欲求は前ほど強くありません。
氷を入れた麦茶や炭酸を飲めば数分でビールを飲みたい気持ちはなくなります。
私の脳はアルコールで味わった快楽がまだ忘れられないようです。
大きなモールのビール売り場の陳列台の前で 、カールスバーグがあったら冷やして飲もうよ 、と私にささやきます。
別の日には 日本に行って大吟醸の冷を刺身で飲もうぜ フライトのスケジュールを調べろよ ともいいます。
飲んで人に迷惑をかけるわけじゃないんだから飲めよ。
などなど、酒を飲ませる理由を列挙します。
別の声は １０ヶ月酒を飲まなかったんだぜ GOTは１６だぜ 血圧も２０下がったじゃないか 寝たら夜中に目が覚めなくなっただろう 寝起きは爽やかじゃないか 頭にかかっていた霞がなくなったじゃないか（酒を飲んでいる間に頭の不快感を感じたことはありませんでした。禁酒７ヶ月目くらいに急に頭がスキッとしました。その時に頭の霞がはれたと感じました。）
と励ましてくれます。
コーヒーを飲みながら 薬物から抜けるのは大変だな と思いました。
コーヒーも薬物だな とも思いました。
I thought this when a milestone passed on 13 August.
It had been exactly 10 months since I started sobriety.
I've tried to abstain from alcohol many times before.
After about two and a half months, I'd always crave a cold beer and give in.
This is the first time I've managed to stay sober for this long.
It had been exactly 10 months since I started sobriety.
I've tried to abstain from alcohol many times before.
After about two and a half months, I'd always crave a cold beer and give in.
This is the first time I've managed to stay sober for this long.
Even now, on a hot late afternoon, I still crave a cold beer.
My desire to drink isn't as strong as it used to be.
Drinking iced barley tea or club soda makes the craving for beer disappear within minutes.
My desire to drink isn't as strong as it used to be.
Drinking iced barley tea or club soda makes the craving for beer disappear within minutes.
My brain still can't forget the pleasure it experienced from alcohol.
When I stand in front of the beer display in a large mall, my brain whispers to me:
"If they have Carlsberg, let's chill it and drink it."
On another day, it says, "Let's go to Japan and drink chilled Daiginjo sake with sashimi. Check the flight schedule."
"You're not going to cause any trouble for anyone by drinking, so just drink."
And so on, my brain lists reasons to make me drink.
When I stand in front of the beer display in a large mall, my brain whispers to me:
"If they have Carlsberg, let's chill it and drink it."
On another day, it says, "Let's go to Japan and drink chilled Daiginjo sake with sashimi. Check the flight schedule."
"You're not going to cause any trouble for anyone by drinking, so just drink."
And so on, my brain lists reasons to make me drink.
Another voice encourages me by saying, "You haven't drunk alcohol for 10 months! Your GOT is 16! Your blood pressure has dropped by 20 points! You no longer wake up in the middle of the night when you sleep! You wake up feeling refreshed! The brain fog is finally gone!" (I never felt any discomfort in my head while drinking. Around the seventh month of sobriety, my head suddenly became clear. That's when I felt the fog in my head had cleared.)
It encourages me like this.
While drinking coffee, I thought about how difficult it is to quit legal drugs.
I also thought that coffee is a legal drug in itself.
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